Thank You, Fireworks

Dana has learned two BIG new things this past week.
First of all, she has learned to communicate a totally abstract idea---being scared.  And because she has learned to communicate feeling scared, she has learned to control the meltdowns that were previously associated with that feeling.
Thank you, fireworks, for helping my daughter learn how to communicate her feelings and how to keep those feelings in check.

This week, our neighbors hung up their guns that they have been shooting and started shooting fireworks instead.  Dana crawled into my lap and said "Dana scared."  I asked her what she was scared of.  She said, "Dana scared of fireworks."  BINGO.  That's all she needed.  She told me what she was feeling, I told her that I could hold her and that she didn't have to worry, and that's all she needed to hear.  She sat outside with us with a fire going on the porch and listening to fireworks going on around us.  She cuddled and held tight, but she didn't whine or fuss, I knew that she was scared of the fireworks, but she knew that she was safe.
Two days later, she and I were out and she told me as I was helping her into the car, "Dana is scared of cars, lights, ta-guns, fireworks, and ------ the dishwasher."
First of all, Dana isn't really scared of cars.  Dana IS scared of guns.  We went to watch Cars 2 at the Drive-In recently, and some of the cars had guns.  So Dana is really scared of cars--with guns.  Lights, hmmm, probably when they are related to fireworks.  Ta-guns--Yes, very.  And I don't know where the 'Ta' came into being.  Fireworks, yes.  Dishwasher?  Oh yes, one night this week, Tommy was loading the dishwasher, and it just so happened that the moment he pushed the button to start it, a firework went off nearby.  Dana asked "what was that?" and Tommy replied, "the dishwasher."  So she's not really scared of the dishwasher, just by coincidence.

The second big breakthrough we have had in the feeling/abstract area is the "I want."  Dana has been very vocal lately about "I want," but has learned how to use it more correctly just in the last few days.  Just tonight, I told her that it was bathtime.  She said, "I don't want to take a bath.  In a few minutes."  I said, "okay, five minutes."  Wait, was that a conversation I just had with my daughter that didn't have anything to do with a movie script?  Amazing. 

In the last few weeks, Dana has also made great leaps and bounds into self-help.  Making her own breakfast, dressing herself, helping around the house, and other normal pre-school age appropriate activities sparking a sense of individuality and self-awareness.  She has also learned to ask for help before getting worked into a meltdown.  I hear "Mommy, help!" and I know that that means that she has come to her limitations in the task at hand.  She won't ask for help unless she really needs it. 
Wait, is that me that is coming out in her?  Amazing.

Car Picnic

Dana doesn't really know how to play tea party, but she has a general idea.  We played car picnic tonight.  She laid out a blanket and put two potty chairs, a stool, a pillow and a bean bag, and she invited me to sit down with baby, little girl, two Pooh bears, clownd, and herself.  (she's really good at naming her toys, btw).  She handed each of us a matchbox car, then took them and put them under the blanket.  This is Dana's idea of tea party. 
Imaginative play will be very different for Dana.  Abstract ideas are difficult for her.  But I enjoyed sitting there like most mothers of girls her age--and boys too.

Krishelle

Part of Your World

Dana's favorite song to sing right now is "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid.  I am going to do my best to type out what we hear as she sings.  She likes to throw "Mommy" in there, like she's having a conversation with me.

Look at dis stupft, idment mit meat?
Didn't du say ny commectons commeat?
Didn't du dink gurl as ebryting?
Look at dis drove, treasures old
How mady averns can averns old?
Look ound er you dink,
Sure, she's got everything, Mommy.
I've mot moses penty
I've mot moses gore
You nant Bob? I've got twenty, Mommy!
OOO tares, big meal, want moooooooor
I wanna see peeplar
wanna seem dancin
sollin on, wuzze word?  oh, feez.
slippin funs get far
legs wired jumpin dancing,
sollin down, wuzze word?  seat!
mmmmmm walk
mmmmmm run
say alay sun
wonder fee
wishy be
part dove at world

And it goes on similarly from there on.  I am really hoping to get it on video or recording, but Dana singing actually lets us into part of her world.  We can really see that she picks out the big words that she knows and leaves the little words as just utterances that don't make sentence structures apparent.  It's like she knows the nouns, and some verbs, but all other parts of speech are just sounds to her.  It amazes us when we get full sentences.  Today, leaving school, she saw the flag.  "Look at the flag, MommyHoney.  It's high.  It's in the sky."
Oh, and she has started calling me MommyHoney.

Krishelle

Best Friends at the Park

Kingsport has a wonderful park system.  I thought we wouldn't have as many opportunities when we moved here from Asheville, but I was so pleasantly surprised to find the opposite was true. 

Today, Dana and I went to our favorite park.  It's called Darrell's Dream, and it is a boundless playground at Warrior's Path.  The park is huge, and built for children of all ages and abilities.  Dana has recently gotten more adventurous and has been climbing more than using the ramps.  Usually, Dana is the center of attention and attracts every child around.  They all want to play with her.  This happens at school, at parks, and sometimes when we just go out to the mall.  Most of the time, she ignores me at the park and goes to play with the other children who come up to her.  Today, however, she held my hand into the park, and started on her favorite piece of equipment.  The first child came up to her, and she screamed and ran to me crying.  Same happened for the second, third, and fourth child.  I can see that it disappoints the other children and that they don't understand why a perfectly normal looking child would behave in this way. 

So we became the center of our own world.  I began hearing "your turn, Mommy" and "you can do it, Mommy!"  She was grabbing my hand and leading me around the park and really wanting me to join in her activities.  On the way out, Dana wanted me to carry her.  She doesn't usually tolerate that much, but today she asked for it--and cuddled and kissed all the way to the car.  Today was the most fun I've had at the park in a long time, and I'm starting to get a glimpse of the future that we could be close in a way that a lot of parents with autistic children miss out on.  Maybe a little closer to "normal".  Someday I may get a "heart to heart" conversation; but right now, I'll revel in the "hand in hand" conversation we had today.

Krishelle

Getting Started

So I thought I would give blogging a try.  I'm no good at writing in a journal, or maybe it's that I never have a pen and paper handy.  I always have my phone and/or computer, and I really wanted to document more about Dana.

Dana is my beautiful 3 year old daughter.  She is smart and sweet, funny and fantastic.  She also happens to be on the autism spectrum.  Dana has always been different, and at the same time very normal.  Our biggest hurdle has been communication.

Dana does not have good spontaneous conversational skills.  She also has a very hard time with abstract ideas.  Most of her "conversations" are made by repeating phrases that she has been conditioned to, reciting scenes out of movies, reciting books, or singing songs. 

Dana is in preschool and has started on first grade readers.  She can write her name, count to 50, and count to 10 in Spanish.  She can read digital clocks and calendars, and she somewhat understands what they mean. 

If you ask her if she is hurt, scared, sick, or happy; she doesn't know how to answer.  If it's not tangible, she doesn't understand. 

Dana is funny though.  She understands humor, mostly of the physical kind, like making faces and tickling.  Conversational humor is pretty much lost on her.  But she is always laughing and smiling at something.

Dana loves movies, Dora, Bob the Builder, Sesame Street, and Baby Einstein--just like all other kids her age.  But Dana memorizes everything she watches.  She also calls things by odd names which can be a mystery to us until we make the connection.  If she wants "bouncing in the trees," that is her Dora game.  If she wants "Baby Einstein Cats," that is really "Wordsworth."  "Pigs" is "Babe,"  and if she asks for "NemNems," she wants M&M's. 

Along with the memorization came an unbelievable gift.  Dana listens to every part of a movie.  This became evident one night when the end of a movie came and we let it roll during the credits.  The score was playing rather than than a song, and she was reciting the dialogue in the right places according to the music.  How many adults even pay that much attention to the background music?

So this blog will be about our obstacles and advances, and will hopefully educate those who don't understand and help those who see some of the same qualities in their own children.

I look forward to documenting our lives here, and thanks for reading.

Krishelle